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CRUISING
Not of the liner type. Now available in the air-conditioned Deep Club.
The whole of Ibiza town is that friendly, it is difficult to know what is friendly and what is cruising.
There are a number of areas that attract guys who -
• like their outdoors activity,
• need to escape from the boyfriend for a quick, uncomplicated, fiddle about, or
• are just two tight to buy a drink in a bar.
It is easy to arrive in Ibiza off the 2:30 from anywhere in Europe and forget that homophobic behavior exists. Easier still not to give a damn about what the locals might think, seeing two men at it on 'The Ramparts' at four in the morning.
Any problems when out cruising tend to exist at the very beginning of the season (around Easter), when the current set of local closets discover 'post-pubescent anxiety', and feel the need to express their feelings the only way they know how.
The local constabulary are very good on this front, and if any problems do develop, they are very quickly stamped on. (The offender can often be found doing rent in Majorca two years later.)
Any other problems are usually to do with couples suffering from post-domestic trauma, discovering each other out on 'The Ramparts', after too many chems three nights earlier. (Don't interfere, they will turn on you.)
If you do meet the body of your dreams, you do not have to do anything that you do not want to. If you get into something that is going too far, excuse yourself and leave ('I need to go for a piss' usually works, 'I need to go for my antibotics' should also ensure that they don't follow you - if they do... run!). Know what you are looking for, and do not take any risks, you are supposed to be enjoying yourself on holiday.
Take your own condoms (and 'you are respectfully requested' - by the Ibiza authorities - 'to take all litter home with you').
If you come across cruising areas by accident, or go looking for them, remember to be friendly (should anything untoward, or unwelcome descend on you, you may appreciate the help of others).
The more you cruise, the easier it gets, but don't become blasé, keep your wits about you.
Don't take valuables, personal stereos, wallets, watches, etc. If you are off your face, go to a club instead, or if you must go, take someone with you. Make sure you know where the cliffs are. (It happens). If there is any trouble out there, try not to make yourself a target.
There are three main cruising areas in Ibiza (unless you know different.) All carry less risk than anywhere else in Europe, but can present their own particular problems. (Don't forget your mozzie-spray. You will get eaten alive at night.)
• The Ramparts above La Muralla, and the headland through the "Tunnel of Love".
 This area is frequented all year round, and is ridiculous in summer... If you haven't been there before, go and enjoy the view during the day. This will also help ensure that you know how to get out quickly, if necessary. There are dangerous drops into the sea, and onto the rocks, or off the rampart walls (into at least a couple of the gay bars). Falling in the wrong place, with your jeans around your ankles, is at the least embarrassing, and is usually terminal for those involved.
• The swimming pool at Figueretes.
Dodgy as hell, but it does get busy in summer. If you can't swim, don't go... Outside the Sud apartments provides a safer alternative, and if nothing else, you may get a cup of tea.
• The beach (Es Cavallet) in 'The Enchanted Forest' (scrubby sand dunes).
Exactly what you would expect. Take a bottle of water, (sandy mouth is hell) and sun lotion as you may not notice that you are burning whilst 'otherwise engaged'.
Don't take valuables to the beach, and keep your possessions with you when cruising (unless you have a friend 'possession sitting', in which case keep checking back with them - you may not have had enough, but they may want/need to go).
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